Taxi Driver And Frank Feldman

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.

He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing

You're just like Frank.”

Passenger: “Who?”

Cabbie: “Frank Feldman… he's a guy who did everything right all the time

Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.”

Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”

Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman

He was a terrific athlete

He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis

He could golf with the pros.

He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a Broadway star

And you should have heard him play the piano! He was an amazing guy.”

Passenger: “Sounds like he was something really special.”

Cabbie: “There's more

He had a memory like a computer

He remembered everybody's birthday

He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat them with.

And he could fix anything

Not like me -I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out

But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right.”

Passenger: “Wow, some guy then.”

Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams

Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them.

But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good

He would never answer her back, even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too.

He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake

No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.”

Passenger: “An amazing fellow

How did you meet him?”

Cabbie: “Well… I never actually met Frank

You see, several years ago Frank died, and I married his fucking wife.”