“My life is a mess,” he says
“My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a schnauzer, and I'm as jittery as a cat.”
“Just the other day the postman almost ran me over, I was chased by the neighbor's cat, and then the paperboy managed to hit me with his paper-toss.”
“I think I have fleas, or at least, I'm allergic to the new bird my owner got.”
“All in all, I'm a total mess, and don't know what to do!”
“Why don't you go see a psychiatrist?” suggests the collie.
“I can't,” says the poodle.
“I'm not allowed on the couch.”